Nick, my sister in law is also like you. She does not feel any difference between my brother’s BMW 328i and their family Acura MDX. I was surprised when she told me.
Whereas I, can feel the difference between 2 identical cars with different number of miles even if they both “look the same” and have all the same features.
I’ll ignore the big names and stick with the cheapest one - I have driven a Civic and a Jetta of two of my friends. The VW’s suspension was just better. For example, when I go over a pothole in both cars, Civic’s dampers take more than 2 up and down motions to come back to its original position, but the Jetta’s dampers takes just one. Both are FWD crap cars but I cannot feel any tread shuffle in the Jetta where I can feel tread shuffle in my wife’s Subaru Legacy (I forget if there was any tread shuffle in the Civic, it’s been a long time). Both cars’ shifters were very smooth, but the VW’s seemed to have a slight weight to it, giving it a satisfyingly positive feedback when the cogs engaged. It’s all very subtle and negligible but it’s there.
If you cannot feel any difference, it does not mean there isn’t any difference. Not all people’s minds and bodies are trained to see/perceive the same things. Maybe automotive critique is not your calling, just leave it at that.